How to stay grounded when life feels chaotic

Life feels great when you’re focused, motivated, inspired, and creating something from your heart. A solid, reliable routine is the foundation for success. Realistically, though, life is going to life. Life gets messy and we fall off track, we lose steam.

Routines give us a sense of control and safety in an inherently chaotic world. But how do we cope when we can’t stick to our normal routine?  What do you do when life feels chaotic? What do you do when you or someone you care for is sick or injured? How do you deal when your progress gets derailed because of life? How do you prevent a minor setback or period of rest from keeping you stuck?

When the chaos of life is swirling around you, you can’t focus and your motivation is gone, the all too familiar self-doubt narratives start getting louder and louder. You start letting all the negative beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of take over. You start creating stories around all the ways you aren’t good enough or that the world isn’t fair. Self-pity feels like the safe option because it is often what we are most familiar with. When things get tough we give up, we make it about who we are rather than just accepting the flow of life. 

There is always a message in the chaos. It’s a reminder that our sense of order and linear time is so fragile. It’s a reminder to be more fluid with our lives, with the timelines we choose to adhere to. To learn to practice patience and trust with ourselves. To loosen our grip and relax into the flow of life. 

When faced with these inevitable chaotic, messy periods of life, there are always two options: an empowering one and a disempowering one. To be empowered means to understand what you do have control over and make conscious choices in support of your well-being. When we find ourselves resisting the natural flow of life, we give our power away. 

These are the moments where the answer isn’t complicated. Return to basics. Nourish the body. Take care of the mind. Embrace acceptance. 

Take care of your animal body

We are animals. We must tend to our physical body and all its messy, never-ending needs. Coming back to the body is grounding. In these periods of chaos or disruption, it’s even more important to eat nutrient-dense foods, get enough sleep, and stay hydrated. Move the body in whatever way possible whether that’s stretching, cleaning the house, going for a walk, or getting a workout in. Get stagnant energy moving. Most importantly, rest. Stop trying to force your body to power through when it doesn’t want to. 

Co-regulate with nature

Our bodies feel calm in nature. We tune into the universal rhythm of the earth. The changing of the seasons, the cycles of the moon, we are a part of these natural rhythms. Our personal lives and the collective are pulsing with the rhythm of nature. Being in nature reminds us that you can soften your grip. We are animals, we are a creation of nature. Our lives unfold in cycles. 

Take care of your monkey mind

The monkey mind bounces from one thought to the next, constantly ruminating, planning, predicting, worrying, and creating stories. Identifying with the monkey mind creates a separation from your intuition. To clear space in your mental field, it needs a release. Morning pages or brain dump journaling are a simple and very effective way to let all the negative thoughts out of your head. Releasing the thoughts can help you see that, that’s all they are: thoughts. They are not permanent. They are always changing. Having a trusted support person, such as a therapist or coach whom you can share your inner landscape with is also extremely valuable. Sometimes, once we say the thoughts out loud to someone we realize that we don’t actually feel that way. 

Use meditation to tap into your divine connection. Open the channel of wisdom. The wisdom of your higher self that helps you rise above your monkey mind. Zoom out and see yourself from a bird's eye view. Become a witness to your thoughts. 

Remove unnecessary distractions and energy leaks

Enforce strict boundaries with social media and any other energy-draining habits. Before turning to what’s most familiar, pause, and ask yourself, “What is the best use of my precious energy right now? What is the internal state I am seeking and what are my options to get there? What are the most nourishing and empowering options? What will help replenish my energy and what will deplete it?”

Embrace Acceptance

The more we resist what is coming up the more we experience suffering. When we become impatient with the way things are we take action out of agitation, make mistakes, and are impulsive. Acceptance requires that we slow down. Acceptance equals patience. Acceptance means we rise above our fear that time is running out. Acceptance allows us to trust in a natural rhythm of life. 

Journal Prompts

How does the fear of time running out show up in your life?

What beliefs do you carry around where you are in this stage of your life? Do you feel behind, where you should be, or ahead? Who set these timelines for you?

What arbitrary timeliness have you placed upon yourself? Why? Is this internally or externally motivated?

What will happen if you allow yourself to rest?